NEW YORKERS AND DICKS, GOOD CLEAN FUN

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New York Dick always tries to keep discussions and examples of dickness insightful and meaningful. Generally that means no real photos of pee-pees, they're just not very interesting. But, when the prick being photographed is of historical interest, when it already has excellent nick names, and when most of us here in NYC would like to think New York dick is more than a term referencing Weiner-gate, how can one resist.

There it is, a real New York hero and a real New York dick. Three time Major League MVP Joe DiMaggio, "The Yankee Clipper" (not looking very clipped), "Joltin' Joe" (yep, I'm a little jolted), and how can you not love that guy standing next to him. Looking good Joe, a real superstar of New York showing off a bit of dickness (although everyone says he was very nice guy). Thank you, thank you, for getting those stupid Anthony Weiner images out of our heads.

ST. PETERSBURG ARTWORK A BIG WEINER / WINNER

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Whether you call it "Dick in FSB Captivity" (the official post action name) or "Giant Galactic Space Dick" (the early working title) one thing is for sure, ultimately the Russian art establishment knows an important apparatc-dick when they see one.

The 220 foot drawbridge dong drawing was created in June 2010 by an art group calling itself "Voina" to protest security measures planned by the FSB (Federal Security Services) for the International Economic Forum, to be hosted in St. Petersburg. The piece was subsequently nominated for the Ministry of Culture and the National Center for Contemporary Art's "Innovation" award, one of the country's highest honors for contemporary art. Earlier this year the work was officially disqualified from the competition, but the fickle ministers could not keep the hearty peasant penis art down, it rose from the dead both Raspution-like and hard-on-like to claim the prize.

Hard lobbying by some delegates to the selection committee finally swayed the unresponsive members, and this super true statement closed the deal, "the penis had already gained such a wide audience via the Internet that ignoring it would also be making a statement." A penis audience? On the Internet? 

According to a statement sent to Voina supporters by the group's spokeswoman Yana Sarna, "When the winner of the Innovation prize was announced, the audience started chanting: 'Dick! Dick! Dick!'"

We at NYD offer our fully aroused congratulations to the artists at Voina, and we absolutely think that audiences should chant "Dick! Dick! Dick! much more often, maybe all the time. For more details take a look at the article at Artinfo or the New York Times.

PENIS DEFACEMENT PHOTO CONTEST, SHOW US YOUR STUFF

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The fantastic online compilers at DEFACED are sponsoring a penis defacement photo competition running now through January 24th. The entries will be judged against a set of rigid and demanding criteria by New York Dick author/photographer Galen Smith. The DEFACED site has all the details on the contest, and an easy to use click and submit set-up will speed you on your way, so start shooting and get those peckers in. A first prize and a co-first prize will be awarded, both a signed copy of NYD. One book goes to the photographer of the most fabulous image as chosen by the author of NYD, and one goes to the "audience favorite" that garners the most Tumblr notes.

Defaced was started in 2010 and is a blog all about rejoicing in spotting things that have been drawn on, torn apart, covered in stickers, or just plain sullied, and they are amazing.

NEW YORK (DICK) SUBWAY MAP

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Although this fantastic map is now a decade old, we at NYD feel that not much about New York Dick-ness has changed and that not enough people have had a chance to enjoy this fine artwork.

As designer/illustrator Veit Schuetz shows us, the subway system, in fact the entire city, can be visualized as a big complicated wang/package.

Schuetz created this piece for Cosmic Art Enterprises’ annual art exhibition in Brooklyn in the spring of 2000. And how did this dicky masterpiece come into existence? The artist states "While the conception took only one hour of desperate staring at a map in a deserted New York subway station at 4 a.m., finishing the design in an accurate way required a lot more patience." 

Were there any weiners drawn on that map to help light the fire of inspiration, we hope so. But even if the dangling masses of NYC were clean as a whistle that night the muse of New York dick-ness was certainly in that station somewhere, it always is.

Thanks to Veit Schuetz for the background info on this piece, and thanks also for bringing this map into being. All of us can appreciate the patience, skill and creativity that it takes to turn a genital dream into a genital reality.

Prints are available in the US through Imagekind. Take a look, it's not just the walls of the subway that can be improved with a little NYD, this big fleshy unit can improve your walls at home too.