THE 2011 JOHNSON GOES TO RICKY GERVAIS!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Prickish powerhouse Ricky Gervais wins the 2011 Johnson for his work on the motion picture Cemetery Junction, and for unrestrained dickish jokes that shock and outrage superstars.

Ricky Gervais, who discomfited the self congratulatory Hollywood establishment with his slightly too accurate comments as host of the Golden Globes, skipped the Oscars to be on hand to accept his Johnson award last night. Gervais explained that his declining of an offer by the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences to "have a seat at the back of the auditorium and shut up" was not a case of sour grapes, just another example of his sound judgement regarding how to deal with awards shows and the "brainless zombie wankers" that run them. 

Gervais was a clear front runner based on his outstanding work in prick-based parody and culture skewering seen in Cemetery Junction, but the victory was sealed when the Academy (the important one that is, The Academy of Phallus Defacement and Affrontery Arts and Sciences) saw his amazing dickish dexterity at The Golden Globes. Galen Smith, author of New York Dick and ranking member of the academy said "Gervais has shown himself to be a multi-faceted master of prickness and all the voting members of the academy were deeply impressed."

Gervais accepted the Johnson with grace and civility, pointing out that he was immensely appreciative of the careful consideration and due diligence shown by the academy that led to his winning the prestigious award, "They also accepted bribes," he said. 

RICKY GERVAIS, A BIG RED KNOB, BRILLIANT!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 

Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, writers and stars of the original British TV-series "The Office" have given us a glimpse into the British mind coming of age in their movie Cemetery Junction. And why else would that glimpse be interesting except that it is also a glimpse of a big red penis (or "knob" as our friends across the water so delightfully put it), drawn on a real estate billboard's typically ernest salesman, and some scribbled in smutty talk from the children of this typical family, and some knockers drawn on the typical wife for good measure (spot on!) The Brits really seem to understand the worldview of New York Dick, although in this case we're seeing an example of nasty red Cemetery Junction dick.

Released straight to dvd this summer Cemetery Junction hasn't received as much notice as it should, but it's a fine film and it absolutely has the best advertising defacement by penis drawing scene in years. It has Johnson (™) contender written all over it (the Johnson being the coveted NYD award for best penis graphic, penis drawing or dick-ish visual in pop culture).

Click here to get all the details at Imdb (unfortunately the trailer does not feature the fabulous knob scene, bollocks!)