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Do the London 2012 Olympic mascots
Wenlock and Mandeville look exactly like giant penises, perhaps not, but many of our penis and branding analyst friends in merry olde England sure thought they were uncomfortably evocative of walking dildos, especially since the mascots are mainly a scam to hook children on the concept that buying branded mercho-crap makes them part of the "in" crowd, or are you not supposed to mention that?

Many articles pointed out the mascot/engorged member resemblance, but an excellently detailed and cruel article by Mark Ritson at Marketing Week UK entitled Why does the London 2012 Olympic mascot look like a penis?” is so rich with dick-ish critique that it simply must be quoted at length.

“The organizers of the London Olympics delivered another body blow for British design last Wednesday when they unveiled Wenlock and Mandeville, the mascots for the 2012 Olympic and Para-Olympic games. With the usual flair for impending disaster, the superficial elements were all stage-managed perfectly: a London schoolyard filled with happy, multicultural children playing harmoniously together against the backdrop of a graffiti rainbow. Suddenly, horrifically, they were joined by a man dressed as a large, white phallus who proceeded to frolic with the children in a quite alarming manner.”


“It was an indelible image. As a voiceover explained that the figure with the helmet-like head, single eye and dual appendages around his base was Wenlock, I was struck with a single, horrifying realization: yes, but he looks like a penis.”

Well done lads!

Predictably vapid explanations by the organizing committee followed about the mascots fairyland life story, the meaning of the names and other points of amazing non-interest. “And then the killer proof point: the design had been guided by public reaction with ‘over 40 focus groups’ commissioned as part of the process.”

Have we said awesome! already? Well then, brilliant!

“...chairman Lord Coe was on hand to add his seal of approval to the design. ‘The mascot will help us engage with children, which is what I believe passionately in,’ said Coe, as the large white phallus behind him disconcertingly hugged a growing throng of youngsters."

NYD frickin’ loves the United Kingdom!