1970s 2013 advertising Adweek AIDS Amazon ancient Andy Warhol animation anti-authoritarianism App Store arrested art prize artist Ascii penis Australia Banksy barber shop bathroom beard Benjamen Walker Bin Laden Black Book black Friday blizzard Bodleian book Book Club Live brands Brett Murray bridge cartoon Cemetery Junction chicks chorus girls Christmas Clark H. Penis coffee table book comments Conan O'Brien contest Contest winners copyright cornball royale Cutting Daffy Duck Daily Show Dali Darger Darth Vader decay Defaced defacement diagram Dick Widget digital DiMaggio Downing Street Duchamp dumb educational England enhancement Evolution exotic Facebook Fairey federal court film first purchase Flavorwire flower penises Fox News Fun or Dumb Gaddafi gigantotomy Girls Giuliani Gothamist graffiti graffiti penis Grumbler guilty Halloween costume head switch Hitler holiday sales Hop international interview iPad Japan Jason Jones jihaad Johnson award Johnson awards jokes Jon Hamm penis Jon Stewart Justin Bieber penis Kanamara Kanye West Ke$ha Keith Haring Kim Kardashian Kimye Lena Dunham library luxury macaroni Mamma Mia map maps Marketing Mars penis Mei Dick MetaFilter Minute to win it Mona Eltahawy Moustache Man movie movie stars mustache mustache man naming New world order New Year new york Nick Swardson nominees Nvrmnd NYC subway obey on sale Oxford Pamela Hall penis penis drawings penis emoticon penis festival penis graphic philosophy Picasso political comment politics Pop Curious Porky the Pig portrait poster posters press proud penis Publishing Innovation Awards Putin ranking Ricky Gervais riots robots Russia sales Santa sci-fi Sean Bell seasons greetings sentenced signage SNL snow penis song South Africa space Spirit rover Splice Today Spring St. Petersburg Star Wars Steven Heller storm trooper stylist Sudden Wealth Syndrome Superbad Sweden Thanksgiving Tim Gunn Too Much INformation t-shirt turkey UK US Open Valentine's day Vice video visitors Walmart Walton Weiner Westboro Baptist Church WFMU Woolford xmas Zapiro Zara Zuckerberg Zuma


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Sexy changes in weather patterns, exciting areas of warm moist air, high pressure zones, and incredible obliviousness about dorky virtual map technology, these are the common elements that are leading to enormous penises being drawn live on TV news programs around the country. These absurd mega-pricks were once thought to be rare "hundred year events," but in the current climate of unrelenting techno-diddling they are becoming disturbingly common.

These weather-wangs may or may not be subconsciously inspired by an identical South Park parody of map diagramming, but even if South Park's penis mapping was not taken as an inspiration, it apparently wasn't taken as a warning either. 

Are these engorged weather systems a threat or a gift? In areas that are susceptible to cock-drawing droughts (typically the Midwest) a few bold boner graphics could be a cultural improvement. But in low lying areas with plenty of pre-existing prick-ness (such as New York City) just one more Fox News generated dick could be too much to bare.

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Watch out northern Mexico! "Steamy air" thrusts countered by "Cooler aloft," and nut stroking to boot! It's only a matter of time till you'll be drenched by "Afternoon T-Storms" of love, open up your parched soil and get ready for a deluge coming right out of the Texas panhandle.


A dynamic deep south tornado dong is filling up with Mississippi delta mojo, growing like a Tennessee stud, getting all jacked up on Kentucky moon and fixin' to rip the northeast a new one. Actually this sounds kind of fun, this is the storm system we should be partying with!


An oh so cool weatherman from the "Weather Authority" guides his big red wang packed with the power of "Ultimate Doppler HD" up I-95 and takes aim on the big apple, NYC will never see the big one coming, they hope. 

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In support of all-American supply side economic theories NYD wishes to state our firm belief that a rising (penis) tide raises all (penis) boats. And so, thank you visual and technological dong drawing dim-wits, keep up the good work, and maybe try adding some animated squirties next time, even a story about bad weather likes a happy ending.