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DICKISH & DUMB TOPICS

TODAY'S FORECAST - AROUSING WEATHER, MULTI-STATE HARD-ONS

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Sexy changes in weather patterns, exciting areas of warm moist air, high pressure zones, and incredible obliviousness about dorky virtual map technology, these are the common elements that are leading to enormous penises being drawn live on TV news programs around the country. These absurd mega-pricks were once thought to be rare "hundred year events," but in the current climate of unrelenting techno-diddling they are becoming disturbingly common.

These weather-wangs may or may not be subconsciously inspired by an identical South Park parody of map diagramming, but even if South Park's penis mapping was not taken as an inspiration, it apparently wasn't taken as a warning either. 

Are these engorged weather systems a threat or a gift? In areas that are susceptible to cock-drawing droughts (typically the Midwest) a few bold boner graphics could be a cultural improvement. But in low lying areas with plenty of pre-existing prick-ness (such as New York City) just one more Fox News generated dick could be too much to bare.

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Watch out northern Mexico! "Steamy air" thrusts countered by "Cooler aloft," and nut stroking to boot! It's only a matter of time till you'll be drenched by "Afternoon T-Storms" of love, open up your parched soil and get ready for a deluge coming right out of the Texas panhandle.

 

A dynamic deep south tornado dong is filling up with Mississippi delta mojo, growing like a Tennessee stud, getting all jacked up on Kentucky moon and fixin' to rip the northeast a new one. Actually this sounds kind of fun, this is the storm system we should be partying with!

 

An oh so cool weatherman from the "Weather Authority" guides his big red wang packed with the power of "Ultimate Doppler HD" up I-95 and takes aim on the big apple, NYC will never see the big one coming, they hope. 

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In support of all-American supply side economic theories NYD wishes to state our firm belief that a rising (penis) tide raises all (penis) boats. And so, thank you visual and technological dong drawing dim-wits, keep up the good work, and maybe try adding some animated squirties next time, even a story about bad weather likes a happy ending.